New World

Ok, so here I am, in Tunisia. What I have come to understand over the past year is that when you have been living in a state of fear, shame, doubt and depression for many many years stopping that freight train of negative emotion does not come quickly. It takes time and sometimes it takes a lot more than just leaving your country to overcome a past littered with bad thoughts and even more self doubt. I admit that I did not look at all before jumping into this big pool of crazy because I honestly just wanted something new, no matter how hard or how different or extreme. I needed a change to spark something in me.

In the past few weeks I have come to understand the way the Universe works in a whole new light. Not because I had not learned all these things over the course of the last twenty years, but for some reason it finally clicked. I was about to do a meditation on youtube and decided to click on a short talk by Abraham Hicks. To say that everything has dramatically shifted is an understatement. For a lot of my life I have had very little self worth, no confidence to take my dreams to the next level no matter how close they were. I would literally stand at the edge of the oasis of all my dreams and each time I would not drink I would run. No matter how great my work was or how much I believed that I could find my path nothing was coming to me. No amount of meditating or being around amazing wondrous people could make me understand until I was ready. I had lived in some of the most amazing places and worked with the world’s greatest spiritualists and professionals in my field but kept hitting wall after wall. So what’s changed you ask? My point of attraction! My THOUGHTS! My emotions and my doubt have all been replaced by feelings of compassion and grace and understanding. The momentum is shifting and I can feel it and see it already! 

I see now what went wrong for all these years. No matter how much I wanted something, all I thought about was everything I did not have! I focused on not having a perfect job and not having tons of confidence and the best equipment. I was not focusing on the most important thing! FEELING GOOD!!! Because all I was feeling all of the time was bad. For whatever reason hearing that my only purpose in life was to feel good really hit me hard. Find any thought, even a tiny one, which makes you feel good and go with it. Do what makes you feeeeeel good! Think what makes you feel good! And if you do not feel good then you are out of alignment with the truth of who you are and with God or Source. Taking that to another level think about all the things that you want in life and let that great feeling be your guide, to everything!

In the past three weeks I started taking a class with my good friend Brandleen called Psychic Boot Camp and am now meditating and doing yoga all day long, why? Because it feels good! And I found out that I am an Empath, and am pretty good at all sorts of things that I doubted within myself while growing up! One thing being connecting with Source and Spirits and I have a pretty cool spirit guide her name is Artemis, yes, THE Artemis! She came to me in a vision a long time ago but I did not believe it. Then she came to me again and again so there was nothing else I could do but except that she is real and that she is my spirit guide.

This class is teaching me to trust in my own intuition. My teacher sends us daily photos of doors or today it was a picture of her and she asked us to tell her where she is! So far I am two for two in guessing what is behind the doors! Shocking? YES! She sends us a photo and we tell her what we feel is behind it! When I was growing up one thing I loved to do was drive around and just look at houses, old or new, and get their feeling! I could feel and see what was inside of the home or the business. I suppose I do it all the time without realizing it. It’s funny what you discount as being silly then someone finally gives you some support and compassion and things just start to flow, especially when you trust in yourself and the guidance that you are receiving.

To be honest I have always listened to the guidance within me no matter how insane it felt or sounded. Shoot how many people run off to Tunisia on a whim. But that is what I was guided to do. People all my life have made me feel bad about doing things my own way. So I was never really able to count on all these whims and feelings and thoughts I had swarming around inside of me. It was not until listening to that talk and beginning to take this class that things are finally falling into place and I am trusting myself for the first time and it feels pretty amazing! Ok, and a little scary too lol!

It might not be an easy road ahead but I do know that I have support and I want everyone to know that when you let go of what others think and you trust in yourself miracles are possible! I hope you will join me on this journey. I would love to keep sharing my experience with you.