Forgivenss

Ok, so what happened when I got here you are probably asking? Well it didn’t take me long to realize that you can’t escape your past and no matter how far you go you can’t out run your freight train of problems because the momentum has been building and building for such a long time. I had spent the past almost ten years in a very deep hole of depression and negative thoughts and a train like that doesn’t just come to a screeching halt as Abraham Hicks would put it! In fact it still hasn’t! That’s why I am here writing this blog! I would love to share my journey with you and I hope that you will see that even someone who has dug such a deep pit of despair like me can dig themselves out of it no matter how deep it goes and maybe we can do it together. Like I said I don’t really have any friends anymore so it would be great to make some new ones along the way! It has taken me a long time to get the courage to talk about all of this, I guess you may be wondering well why now?

Two weeks ago I was about to start my daily meditation I do on youtube and I looked over and saw a talk by Abraham Hicks. I have not stopped listening to them ever since!  I have been building a new kind of momentum in my life! One that is centered on creating nothing but good feelings and letting go of all the crazy negative thoughts that have plagued me for so long! I mentioned before that I had worked with many different spiritual teachers in Santa Barbara! That is an understatement. I am a Reiki Master, I’ve been to Vapassana a 9 day silent retreat which only a select few get chosen for as part of the Siddha Yoga Center, I am a trained Light Body practitioner, I am a sungazer and have gone up to 22 minutes, I have been studying energy and manifesting since I was 18 years old, martial arts since I was 15, qi qong, yoga, tai chi, meditation, I have studied almost every religion since I was 5, I have read tons of books on everything you could imagine, and been to UFO conventions and met Buddhist monks. But nothing could help to relieve my own pain, depression and suffering. Then I clicked on one little button and everything changed! Isn’t it all so funny!

So here I am, finally peeking out of my shell at the world that I have been hiding away from for all these years, hoping that you will like me lol! Terrified that I won’t be accepted that I will be lost and forgotten which is silly! Scared that the people I wronged are going to come and get me! But it doesn’t matter, all that matters is feeling good and letting go of the belief that I am not worthy of success, abundance and joy in my life. And so are you!!! Everyone makes mistakes and it is learning from those mistakes and getting back up and taking responsibility for them and continuing on that makes us all stronger! And helping to lift others up along way that builds character and shows you what you are really made of! I know I wouldn’t be the person I am today had I not made those mistakes. Sure I wish I had not hurt those I love most in this world but sometimes we hurt the ones we love the most. It isn’t because we don’t love them. Sometime it is because we love them too much. It is forgiveness that is the greatest virtue of them all! Aren’t we all deserving of forgiveness and don’t we all have someone that deserves to be forgiven?