From Here to Tunis
You may now be asking, well how in the
world did you end up in Tunisia of all places and where the heck is that
anyway? If you’re not familiar with Tunisia it is located at the very top
of Africa on the Mediterranean between Algeria and Libya. Tunisia leads the
Middle East on many key issues like women’s rights and democratization. They held their first free
elections November 23, 2014. The Jasmine Revolution which began on January 14,
2011 was the catalyst to the Arabic Spring.
I have been here a year now and in that time
my entire world has shifted and I have to say, as Abraham Hicks would put it
"Perfect timing" indeed. I
have always been someone who has lived by the motto "Jump and the net will
appear", which just means trusting fully that God is always guiding you in
any moment and no matter what there will always be “enough” if you go for your dreams. As someone
who must see it to believe it I have tested this theory many times and found it
to be more then true.
For example, as I told you I was
accepted to Brooks Institute of Photography in Santa Barbara, Ca. What I have
not told you is that I did not yet have any money to go there and no loans. My
parents had been through some hard times and were unable to help me with
getting a loan and of course I was not able to get one on my own. However,
after what I had just been through there was nothing I was going to let stand
in my way. When it was time for school to start instead of waiting, and since I
was able to obtain student housing (not totally sure how that worked but I am
guessing my parents made some kind of promise because they would do anything
for me and are phenomenal) I jumped in the car and left knowing it would all
work out eventually!! I will never
forget my mom dropping me off at my apartment, all she had was 50$. She pulled it out of her wallet and told me that
everything would work out somehow no matter what! I knew it would! My parents are
amazing and have inspired me to never give up even when it seems that
everything is lost.
It's hard for me to recall every
detail now but it was not long before I got a call from my mom that my grandfather
who had passed away a while ago and was my personal idol and reason for
becoming a photographer had left me an inheritance! It was enough to get me
through a couple of what they call sessions at Brooks. Then not long after that
we heard that my parents got the loans I so desperately needed to get me
through to the end. I was even able to get an additional loan to buy the gear
that I needed for my underwater photography class. Granted in the end this all
totaled well over 150k and to some this was ridiculous amounts of money for a
photography education but for me it was a lifelong dream come true. And money
is not the purpose of being, happiness and fulfillment are!
Ok back to Tunisia. Now this was many
years later and things were not so good in my current situation. In those days
I spent most of my time on Facebook wasting away the hours of endlessness with
pointless conversing, scrolling and searching for something or someone to make
me feel that I mattered. 8 years had passed since I graduated and left the
incredibly potent energy of Santa Barbara and it showed. It was immediate and
drastic the affect that leaving had on me. My progress stopped and my health
declined rapidly. Then in 2010 not five years after leaving I was on disability
and living month to month with my boys barely able to survive. It all seemed
like a dream that had never really happened. Swimming with sharks on Anacapa
Island, racing for the Santa Barbara Outrigger Racing Team, parties at my friend’s mansion in Montecito, walking across
that stage on graduation day all seemed like distant memories that were slowly
fading away. Sadness, depression, pain
and defeat were my daily existence mixed with tiny bursts of inspiration. I'd
done some great work over the years but nothing really worth mentioning,
definitely worth seeing, but I was never confident in myself worth to go all
the way. And so I sat all day everyday talking to strangers about the condition
of our world, God, The Universe, things that really mattered but going nowhere
fast. Every day I still meditated and kept that tiny flame burning deep within
me. Then one day I met someone that changed everything.
It started off innocent enough then
over the course of several months it just blossomed. Despite our obvious
language barrier it didn't matter there was something there, a spark that was
igniting, and it felt right and for me that is all it takes.
There is something I should explain.
Since I was about 12 years old I have been having extremely intense and vivid
dreams about someone. I realized as I got older that he was my soul mate. I never really got a clear look at his face
though. It was just this vibrant warmth within me that could only be explained
as pure love. I admit I lost a lot of my friends on my search for this person
and confused many people for him along the way. It had created within me so
much doubt and despair because of what I had given up and how many had given up
on me. In fact by that time almost everyone I knew had given up on me and who
could blame them. From their perspective I had done nothing but squander the
biggest opportunity of my life. My boys were now both gone and I was alone. I
had nothing. Someone even broke into my car and stole both of my dogs ashes
right in front of my house. I moved a lot, and I mean a lot almost once a month
so I rarely unpacked. My car was still filled to the brim and this person broke
into my car, left everything else alone except for the two boxes the held the
ashes of the only two things that mattered to me, my boys. I mean I had been
robbed in broad daylight before, all of my dive gear was stolen right out of my
car in the parking lot of Kohl's in the middle of the day but apparently they
didn't use security cameras. 10k dollars worth, ya that was a dream crusher but
my dead dogs! At that point you would say I had hit rock bottom. I knew it and
the world knew it. Everyone hated me, no one would touch me seeing as I was
sharing a room with some guy I met on Craigslist and living in a disgusting
apartment in Santa Maria. By the way, why do Mexican people use toilet paper
then put it in trash instead of flush it down the toilet. Anyway it could
always be worse but not much.
So where were we, oh ya, you will have
to forgive me I did knock my head pretty bad in that accident so I tend to jump
around a bit lol. As I was saying, since I was young I had been having some
pretty amazing dreams. The only reason I mention that is because the night
before I had planned on Skyping with my new mystery man from another world I
had another dream. Only this time I saw his face. He was hovering over me as I
stood on an escalator. It was slowly going down and when I reached the bottom
he stood before me and we embraced in what can only be described as a kiss that
was orgasmic to be completely honest. He was just slightly taller than me,
slender with angelic dark brown eyes. His hair was a luxurious silky dark brown
the kind you could run your fingers through all day long. He had the kind of
plump, supple lips that would make any girl blush. To say he was the tall, dark
and handsome man of my dreams was an understatement!
The next day came with a lot of
excitement and anticipation! Not because of my dream but because I was just
happy to make a new friend and it was the first time in a while that I felt
something good. I was not prepared at all for what was about to happen. I
opened Skype and came face to face with the same man that was in my dream the night
before. It literally was love at first site. But having been through so much
hell already my rational brain took over pretty quickly. I almost couldn't
handle it and was in shock. We hit it off instantly the language barrier, well,
it wasn't. His native language is Arabic and French, I speak neither but for
some reason I understood him. We could communicate almost intuitively.
For the next several months we talked
all day every day about everything you could imagine and it didn't take long to
start talking about marriage and making the trip out there. All I had was the
money I was getting for my disability which would just barely pay for my plane
ticket. So I began selling and giving away all of my things. I even sold my
precious Nikon camera that was a gift from my parents for Christmas the year
before along with my computer and my Epson printer. Within a month I had sold
everything, gotten my passport, bought my ticket and was ready to go. The hard
part wasn't getting all these things ready, it was trying to tell my friends
and family and convincing them was nearly impossible. Most of them had already
given up on me years ago or never understood why I did the things I did in the
first place. So explaining this seemed pointless but I gave it my best effort although.
I knew only time would tell the real story, in other words I said my goodbyes.
I did have my lifelong supporters, my parents, who were reluctant given some of
the research they had done about Tunisia but that was soon resolved, somewhat I
suppose as best it could be either way I was leaving and nothing could stop me.
I was like a freight train once I got going and no one would dare get in my
way.
It felt like the old days again. I was
filled with passion and driven to discover the unknown. It was everything I
lived for, to jump knowing the net would always be there for me. Knowing that
God led me here and I was so excited to find out what was on the other side. It
couldn't come fast enough. And even though I left for a 40 hour journey with
not one penny in my pocket it didn't bother me one bit because I knew that he
was waiting there for me on the other side and I had come this far so what was
just a few more hours compared to a lifetime of waiting!
Honestly I dont know where to start she is one of the most fascinating people I have ever met.She is an incredibly powerful and enchanting women who never ceases to blow my mind with her love, compassion and unyielding determination. Born in the 1940s, she truly embodies what it means to be a fiercely independent women. 
One thing I find most fascinating is at age sixteen she started to notice that her intuitive and psychic abilities where manifesting. Her grandmother decided to teach her how to use them. Since then she has been helping not only her family but others in need by doing readings and reiki massages. Many times, while I was visiting, one of the neighbor ladies would come over for a reading or massage. She never charges a dime or turns anyone away. She has done readings on me many times and even predicted our son Ethan would be born.
There are two kinds of readings that I have experienced. There is the reading that actually predicts something and the one that gets rid of evil or black energy from a person. I have personally gone through some very painful and very intense black magic. She is able to calm me down after an attack. I had never been through anything like it before. It was not a panic attack it was a psychotic breakdown, a possession. It is my understanding that anger leaves a person open to being taken over by dark entities or energy. She is able to read words into you from the Koran that are specially designed to rid you of this dark energy. This is what I have been told but most of it remains a secret only for those who are Muslim to understand. 
Genies, or Jinn they are called in Arabic, are demons that attach themselves to people or places. They feed off their energy and in cases like mine for instance, they bring about terrible events so that they can feed off the dark energy it creates. Fatima sees these demons and has some pretty amazing stories of running into these terrifying creatures. 
Her grandson, my husband. Hassen says "she is a very very magical lady who only wants to help people" . I have seen this over and over again. She has no kitchen, no bathroom and has to walk outside to use a water spigot that comes out of a stone wall in her yard. She always cooks a huge meal for us every time we visit. She uses a camping style gas stove to cook off and has done this since she moved to that home over 60 years ago. There are no vacuum cleaners or dish washers so everything is done by hand. All cooking is simple and fresh and I love it! We have asked her many times to come live with us but she always says no, she loves her home and her independence.
