My Journey - Part 1

How did I get here?

    I am guessing you are wondering how this all happened and where I get off talking about all this stuff. So I decided it would be a good idea to tell you a bit more about me and my journey. 

    It all began where it all ended. On May 14, 2001 I almost lost my life in a disastrous car accident where I was ejected out of the driver side window of my jeep going 70mph. It felt more like I was lifted out of the car. Even to this day I remember the feeling of pressure under my arms like someone was pulling me out. I had taken off my seat belt to grab a toy for my dogs. It was lucky that I did have my seat belt off, although I wear it every time I am in a car now, I know I can only be that lucky once. All I remember was going through the window then waking up on the ground and I started yelling for my dogs. I felt no pain at all. And I even thought I was fine and I looked at my jeep and it looked fine too, but it was not fine at all. I later saw a picture, just once, of my jeep in a crumpled mess of metal and was in shock at what I saw. It is true that your mind sees what it is most comfortable and used to seeing, that everything is a vibration. The only pain I felt in that moment was a little pain in my pelvis. My left hand was also looking a bit strange and would not move. I asked a man that had stopped to help to fix it because it was bent forward all funny and I could not straighten it lol. Little did I know that it was hanging on by just a thread and had broken almost clean off but for the skin holding it on and the bones were busted through the skin and I was bleeding out pretty bad. My pelvis or pubic bone was broken in half which later I would find is nearly impossible to do because it is a thickest bone in a women's body and my doctor had never seen anything like it, at least not in a survivor before. My left wrist was another story. As I lay on the ground watching more and more people show up I kept telling them I felt fine and my car was fine and I didn't know what all the fuss was about and if they could just find my dogs I would be on my way. Well that wasn't going to happen and all of a sudden the ambulance showed up and I remember at that very moment when I locked eyes with the paramedic I was OUT! It was like my inner being knew that I had to stay awake until they got there because the moment I was out I had a Grand Mal Seizure in the ambulance. 

    I woke up in the hospital with a lot of confusion as I had a weird tube down my throat and I wasn't having that so I ripped that out pretty much right away! My arm was in a cast and it was all surreal to put it mildly. My body was covered in road rash from sliding across the pavement for who knows how long. I spent my days being soaked in Bacitracin, having my skin peeled off, and learning to walk again because it was not within my conscious mind to have it any other way. You see, I had been accepted to the school of my dreams, Brooks Institute of Photography. And in 6 months I was going to be starting classes so for me that was all the time I had to get better.  

    I only spent 9 days in the hospital. I was doing so well that on the last day they pushed me really hard to take my first steps and told me that I would make it! Grand Junction, Co St. Mary's Hospital was one of the best places to be if you happen to be where I was. They did miracle surgery on my left wrist. Doctors said that most would never be able to use it again. Once I got back to Arizona I spent a lot of time at the YMCA swimming pool since I couldn't afford insurance to pay for any kind of recovery treatment. So it was just me and my cast hanging out of the water with the older ladies most of the day or with my grandmother at her senior center pool because I could take my walker into the pool easier. 

    Now, you might be wondering, so what about my dogs!!? Well, my Golden Retriever Lancelot was actually picked up on the side of the road the same day and brought to me in the hospital! My Beagle, Benny on the other hand had a little adventure of his own. For this reason I do advocate putting a chip in your dog because while he was walking down the highway he was picked up by the most amazing family in the world! They took him home to where they lived in Washington State. They fed him and took him to the Vet and loved him so much. They almost kept him but at the Vet's they did a scan and saw that he had a home. So they called us and told us they had Benny and he was safe. They also told us they just so happened to be taking a trip back through Arizona in a couple weeks. I admit I was overjoyed but I wanted him back more then life itself. So the wait was agonizing but the reunion was life affirming and our family was hole again. I had my boys back! 

    I ended up making it to Brooks 6 months later and graduated with a small few at the top of the class. I was not totally healed but well enough to hold a camera and there is a very good reason for all of this because it catapulted my spiritual journey in so many ways and I got to spend most of my time in Santa Barbara where Brooks is with some of the areas leading spiritual teachers! I would not be here without them! People like Sara Kane, Rama Seltzer, Huda AlHasheem (Starfire), and so many more, gave me the gift of Source in my life and I could never thank them enough.